In the seedy underbelly of the corner store and the pub kitchen, a sinister change has been taking place.

You won’t see this on the news or in the papers. You won’t hear it discussed around the water cooler. But it’s happening.

Pubs, clubs, milkbars and takeaway places across the country are conspiring against us. They’re

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conspiring to make their hot chips bland and tasteless.

A trend emerges

I first noticed this a few years ago. It happened every now and again. I would order an innocently ordinary meal, like a parmigiana. The meal would arrive and look very appetizing. I would pick up

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a chip and take a bite.

All of a sudden, something horrible would happen.

All I could taste, was potato. No salt. No flavour. Bland, old potato.

What. The. Hell.

At first I thought it was just that restaurant. Perhaps a new chef or menu. But no. As time went on, I noticed it more and more. No matter where I went, the chips were…just chips. Boring and lifeless. No tang, no bite. Nothing.

The “Chip Salt Conspiracy” theory

I think that a few years ago, the government health department secretly distributed a document decreeing that hot chips were no longer allowed to be delicious. This document – let’s call it the Sodium Deficiency Directive – outlined a progressive roll-out of salt removal in food items. The first stage is the chips. After that, who knows? Our BBQ sauce could be tangless. Our steaks could taste like plain meat.


In all seriousness though, has anyone else noticed this phenomenon? It can’t be just me. Jokes aside, it is a weird trend I’ve noticed. I wonder where it comes from.


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theories, anyone?